


Drabbles of A Doughnut Destroyer: Homestuck Edition

by Dilicious



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Female Friendship, John/Dave - Freeform, Lesbifins, M/M, Meekat, Stridercest - Freeform, maryamcest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-07-19
Updated: 2012-11-23
Packaged: 2017-11-20 20:20:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 6,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/589278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dilicious/pseuds/Dilicious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Homestuck Drabbles and Ficlets written by me</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sexy Strider

Surfing the internet just wasn’t doing it for Dave anymore. He needed to up the ante…ironically. First thing in order to step it up: lose the pants. After getting rid of those tight things, he was free to step it up…again. Removing his signature record shirt, he stretched out the head hole and put it back on, pulling his shoulders through the big hole. Once his arms were though, he tied the sleeves behind his back, in order to make sure there was no nip slippage. That was totally uncool and there was no way he could pull that off ironically. Then, finally, he pulled on some thigh highs he had. Doesn’t matter where he got them or why he had them, he just did. And he was wearing them.

Now, he was ready. Logging on to Omegle, he began playing some music and waited for the first suck- person to connect. As soon as they did, he began playing some of his phat beats, dancing in rhythm to it. He smirked inwardly. No one would expect this out of Dave. He was being so-

“Dave?” He stopped. Looking at the screen, he saw Jade, staring at him incredulously. “Dave…what the hell are you doing.” Without missing a beat, he answered her.

“Dancing ironically.” The music hadn’t stopped playing. Ignoring Jade’s shock, he continued to dance, rubbing himself sensually at times when the music called for it. Jade began blushing at Dave’s display, but was somehow unable to look away.

As the music ended, the boy was panting slightly. He strut up to the camera, smirking as he said “And this has been your daily dose of Sexy Strider.”

“Dave, I…I…”

“Sorry, Jade, no time to chat! I got people to dance for, crowds to entertain!”

“But…Dave-” Before she could get another word out, Dave disconnected.

After resting for a few seconds, he connected to the next person. Not wanting to see who he was dancing for, he began to dance once again, swaying his hips to the beat. His hands glided up his thighs, lifting up the edge of his shirt provocatively so. He turned around, shaking his ass for the viewer. The back of the shirt fluttered up, showing whoever was watching a view of Strider briefs with hearts on them.

Soon the music ended and Dave once again strut up to the camera, bending low enough so that the viewer could see him. “And that was your daily dose of Sexy Strider.” Seeing who had been watching him, however, had caused him to smirk.

“I’m not a homosexual, I’m not a homosexual, I’m not a homosexual….” The viewer repeated like a mantra, covering their eyes, face beet red.

“Keep telling yourself that, Egbert.” Dave disconnected, leaving John to his own devices.

Another quick break, and Dave was back at it with another viewer. This one, however, wasn’t so quiet about their opinions.

“WHAT THE FUCK, STRIDER?”

“What’s wrong, Vantas? Can’t handle me?” Dave retorted as he continued dancing.

“I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING HANDLE YOU. CEASE WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS YOU ARE DOING RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!” Dave shook his head. Instead, he made his dancing evenmorerisque, accentuating certain parts of his body, knowing it would disgust Karkat.

“AUGH, FUCK YOU STRIDER. FUCK YOU!” The troll disconnected himself. Dave grinned. That was too great for just a smirk, No, that motherfucking display needed an all out, totally unfucking ironic grin.

Since Karkat had left early, Dave didn’t take a break. Instead, Dave moved right on down to his next viewer. He started his usual thing and this time, he wasn’t interrupted. The same ‘hot’ display and not a peep from the viewer the entire time. When the dance was over, he strut up to the camera, smirking. “And that was your daily dose of Sexy Strider.”

“Oh, Dave, this explains so very much.”  That voice. Dave’s smirk disappeared. Rose.

“Huh, Lalonde. Try not, for once in your fucking life, to psychoanalyze me. Because you know you totally enjoyed my performance.” Rose, with her eternal smirk, nodded.

“I did. There is so much your little ‘performance’ revealed to me. Oh Strider, you’re too easy.” Dave didn’t even respond, he just disconnected from her. He wasn’t about to let Rose’s usual bullshit get to him.

‘One more and then I’m out.’ the younger Strider thought as he connected to his final viewer. He began his set, running his hands through his hair, gliding his hands along his thighs, even the ass trick he did for John. The viewer said nothing, instead typing.

So, we meet again, little brother

“Bro!” Dave growled out and Bro chuckled.

You’ve improved greatly since our last encounter…But do you honestly think you can best me this time?

Dave smirked. “Come at me.”

In front of his own camera, Bro removed his pants, tossing them behind him, then began shaking his ass for his younger brother. Dave pulled out all the stops, even lifting up the shirt at one point to reveal his flat stomach. But no matter what he did, Bro not only matched, but straight up outdid Dave. After the song was over, Dave was panting heavily, a sheen of sweat on his skin. Bro, meanwhile, hadn’t broken a sweat.

Sorry, little bro. Maybe next time.

“Fine *pant*…One day, I’ll beat you!” Dave ground out. Bro smirked, then disconnected.

Dave closed Omegle. He them threw himself on his bed, breathing heavily and wiping the sweat from his forehead. “Heh, I wonder who I’ll get tomorrow…”


	2. Shouty (Meekat)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meenah and Karkat are jerks to each other

“Oi, Shouty Vantas, get over here!” Meenah beckoned Karkat towards her with a wave of her hand. Karkat, using any excuse to get away from his ancestor, quickly shuffled over to her.

“What is it, you stab-happy madwoman?” Meenah’s grin was predatory as she placed her hand on the back of his head, playing with his hair.

“It’s pretty crazy…you look just like the other Vantas, but…I like you way more…” Karkat edged away from her, out of Meenah’s reach. 

“Yeah, uh, that’s great and all, but don’t you have something to be doing?”  
Meenah cocked her head at Karkat, confused at what he meant.

“Something about the shit in the sky?” He continued and it hit her: the army!

“Oh yeah, wanna join? We’re gonna kick that fucker English’s ass!”

“You and what army?” Meenah could see why he was skeptical. She hadn’t been doing a very good job of recruiting so far. She needed /someone/ to help her. Vantas wasn’t a god tier, but he was better than nothing.

“Me. Me and you. C’mon, we can totally kick that bastard’s ass together!” She held out her hand. Karkat stared at her. Despite his better judgement and the lack of a compelling argument, he took her hand. As soon as she felt his hand in hers, Meenah pulled him along as she ran up the stairs, Karkat barely able to stay on his feet.

Her excited cackling didn’t make Karkat feel any more secure about his decision. As soon as they excited the castle, Karkat wrenched his hand out of Meenah’s.

“What the hell is your problem, woman? Where are you taking me?”

“Aww, c’mon, don’t be such a bitch! I was just showin’ you off to Aranea.”

“What? Fuck you, I’m not your prize to be shown off!”

“She needs to see!”

“See what?”

“ARGH!” Grabbing Karkat’s face, she smashed her lips to his, her fangs nipping his lips. After a few moments, he pushed her away, obsessively checking his lips for any sign of blood. “Relax, I know what color your blood is. Lamer Vantas wears it proudly. I mean, c’mon, the color of his sweater!”

“S-SHUT UP!”

Meenah made a noise of annoyance. “Whatever Karcrab. Come see me when you stop being a whiny grub.”

Karkat’s face reddened and he stomped off back inside. Meenah watched him disappear into the castle. She giggled, her hands cupping her cheeks.

“Hehe, it’s gonna be so fun fucking with him!”


	3. Rainbow Drinkers (Maryamcest)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Porrim meets Kanaya

Porrim strode through the castle, with one purpose in mind: meet her descendant. It seemed the poor troll was avoiding her! But for what reason? Had she done something to upset her descendant? Impossible! They hadn’t even actually met. Well, not if Porrim had anything to say about it.

Outside, she met with a bespectacled god tier human. Shaggy 2 Cape, he called himself. Odd name, but no matter. From him, she received the whereabouts of the troll in question. Bidding Shaggy adieu, she then made her way to the coast where the troll with the Virgo symbol on her shirt was standing, staring at another god tier human. She seemed so into this particular human she didn’t notice Porrim approach her. A tap on the shoulder seemed to pull her out of her daze, though.

“Oh, my! It’s you!” the other troll said, covering her mouth in surprise.

“Yes, I am Porrim, you ancestor. And your name is…”

“Kanaya.” She answered, avoiding Porrim’s gaze.

Porrim noticed her apprehension. “What’s wrong, Kanaya? Is it…is it my eyes? I apologize for that but I can not do much about it. I am dead, after all.” Porrim had chuckled at the end of that, hoping to get Kanaya laughing as well. To at least crack a smile. But…nothing. “So…I notice you’re also a rainbow drinker. What an odd thing to inherit. I mean-“

“I didn’t inherit this.”

“Oh, you did. You died during your game, didn’t you?” Kanaya stared at Porrim, who was currently glowing.

“Y-yes.”

Porrim went back to her normal, gray skin tone. “There we go. Same thing happened to me. I became a rainbow drinker as well, but I’m guessing I was one for much longer than you.”

“Why is that?” Porrim chuckled once again.

“You can not seem to turn it off.”

“What?”

Porrim gestured to Kanaya’s face. “The glow, dear. Turn off the glow.” Kanaya looked down at her hands, then back up at herself.

“There is a way to turn off the glow?”

“I am able to do it, so should you.” Porrim smiled to herself. She managed to get Kanaya talking to her! And now, she was going to help Kanaya with her glowing.

“Uh, if you don’t mind, may I ask you a question?” Porrim was brought out of her thoughts by Kanaya.

“Go ahead.”

“Your…appearance. Why do you choose to present yourself in such a way, Porrim?” Kanaya seemed uncomfortable even asking the question and Porrim noticed.

“Why not?” Kanaya clearly wasn’t expecting this, for it seemed she had no rebuttal. “It shouldn’t matter how I choose to express myself, Kanaya. Does this…bother you?”

“No-I mean…uh….”

Porrim smirked. “Is my appearance a little too salacious for you?” She then put her arms in a way that accentuated her ample breasts. Kanaya blushed, trying to cover her face.

The glowing rainbow drinker backed away from Porrim. “Porrim p-please!”

“I never thought I would end up going for my descendant, but since you’re here…” Porrim closed the distance between them, caressing Kanaya’s blushing face.

“I…I can’t…this is…” Kanaya stuttered as she felt Porrim’s hot breath on her face. It was almost as if she was alive…

Kanaya closed her eyes, waiting for the inevitable. Rose would be so disappointed in her… “Ahaha, Kanaya, I didn’t think you’d be so gullible!” Kanaya stood there, eyes wide. It was…a trick? “Oh Kanaya, don’t worry. I wouldn’t go after you!”

“Of…of course.”

“I mean, honestly. I just met you! We should get to know each other first.” Kanaya stared at her ancestor. This…she was…

“Come, let me teach you some rainbow drinker tricks!” Porrim grabbed Kanaya’s hand and led her inside the castle, not noticing Kanaya’s flush. Stupid sexy ancestor…


	4. Island in the Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read a prompt. Came out as Rose-Jade friendship

It was just like her grandpa told her! She gasped with excitement and yelled over the noise of the helicopter:

“The islands in the sky are real!” Rose chuckled at her friend’s enthusiasm. “You see, Rose! I told you!” Jade had indeed told her. However, the idea was a little hard to believe at first. Islands in the sky? It was preposterous. But a small part of her had wanted to believe; hope beyond hope, for Jade’s sake.

“Ah, I almost can’t believe it!” Jade continued to babble on and on about the Sky Islands, while Rose calmly asked the pilot to land them on the closest floating landmass. Bec was next to her, shivering. The dog was obviously not used to being in a cramped area for so long.

“Don’t worry, boy. We’ll be out soon.” Rose did her best to soothe the trembling animal, trying to get his to focus on her with head pats and comforting back rubs. Within a few minutes, she had gotten him to calm down. As she turned back to Jade, she felt Bec’s head press against her palm. When she looked down to him, he whined, begging for more head pats. She chuckled and continued where she left off.

When they finally touched down, Jade quickly unbuckled herself from her seat, jumping out of the aircraft. She looked around, taking in the sights. “Ah, Rose, look at all plant life! I’ve never even seen most of this stuff before!” Rose had been helping the pilot coax Bec out of the helicopter. When the dog was finally on solid ground again, he began running around, barking excitedly. “Ah, Rose! Look at this!” Rose walked over to Jade, who was gesturing at a giant red flower, petals as large as Bec.

“Oh my!” Rose’s eyes widened at the sheer size of the thing. Before she could comment on the plant, Jade was dragging her further into the forest, followed happily by Bec. The pilot called out to them “I’ll stay with the chopper! Try not to get-” They were out of sight before he could finish his sentence.

“…lost”


	5. Crazy Empress Fish Bitch (Meekat)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meenah visits Karkat in his quiet place

Crabdad snaps his mandibles together, trying to tell me something. Couldn’t give any less of a shit right now. I have other crap to worry about, like how the fucking Condescene as a thing for me now. Or, rather, Meenah Peixes does. Whatever, she’s still the crazy Empress Fish Bitch to me. The recuperacoon’s slime only eases nightmares, not quandaries about quadrants. Oh great, now he’s snapping his claws at me. Get bent, Crabdad.

There’s the clicking of a lock, the squeaking of a door. Shit…no one was supposed to be able to get in here. Maybe my lusus was warning me about that. Huh, probably should have listened to the shitheel. Whatever, maybe if I hide in the slime, who ever it is will go away. I have no time for assholes.

The slime is always refreshing, and as I lower my head, it only refreshes more so. It’s a weird, intangible feeling of comfort in my head that I feel under here. Under the slime, I hear them, walking around. Talking to Crabdad; like that’ll get them anywhere. Shit, I feel them, getting closer. A hand dips in, feeling around. Stupid cramped recupercoon. I can’t move! Shit, the hand’s got me. Fuck, stop pulling my hair.

I gasp for air. Didn’t realize how long I’d been under. Opening my eyes, I stare into her dead eyes. Aww, shit. “What the fuck do you want?”

“Oh Shoutykat, you know you love my company.” Meenah’s such a smug bitch. I wanna punch her damn face him. She grins, her teeth uncomfortably sharp. She knows how I feel about all the ancestors; what’s her deal with me?

“Just because I hate you less than the rest of your friends, doesn’t mean I don’t hate you.”

” I wouldn’t call those morons my ‘friends’. More like… ‘close aquaintinces’.” I groan. Don’t care how much she distances herself from them, she’s still one of them.  
Looking around, she grabs the one chair there is in the room; my desk chair. Plopping down, she rolls herself back to my slimy self. “Karcrab, did anyone ever tell you how attractive you are wet?” My face heats up. Gog, I’m susceptible to this kind of red shit? You think I’d be used to this shit after Terezi.

“Don’t flatter me, Peixes. Seriously, don’t.” She cups her face in glee.

“Aww, bark my last name like that again. Fuck, I might just jump you right now!” Augh, fuck. My face, so hot! “Oh Carpcat, you’re the most fun to hang out with!” She jumps out of the chair, strutting with the elegance of an empress. I didn’t think her capable of it. She leans up, getting to my level. She chuckles and I can feel her breath hitting my face. It’s surprisingly warm, considering she’s, y’know, dead. “Got room for one more?” She whispers, and a shiver runs down my gogdamn spine. I grind my teeth. No way I’m letting her get the upper hand here.

I pull myself out of my ‘bed’, Meenah giving me room to land on the ground. I immediately remove my turtleneck, leaving the top part of my chest bare.

“Oh shit, you’re just like Kankri, with your pants all hiked up! Aww jeez, you’re too damn cute!” Damn, and I thought the sight of my bare chest would elicit a…different reaction. Oh who am I kidding? My pants are hiked up to where my nipples would be, if I had them. Who am I gonna woo with this shit?

“Get out, Meenah. I gotta change.”

“And miss the show Crabass? No coddamn way!” Face, meet palm. Palm, meet face. I’m glad you two are enjoying each other’s company, because as long as she’s around, you’ll be seeing each other a lot more often.

“Why are all the people who are flushed for me so damn infuriating?!”

“Oh, don’t kid yourself. You love it!.” She wraps her arms around my neck, her mouth near my ear, breath tickling me. Fuck this, I’m way too wet to be aroused. “C’mon, Vantas. Make it worth my while.” I break her hold on me.

“Fuck you, I’m going outside. You, stay the fuck here.” After rummaging through my dream drawers, I find an appropriate change of clothes and walk outside, slamming the door behind me. Inside, I hear her trying to make conversation with Crabdad. Hah, good luck with that. As I get changed, the sounds from inside disappear. After I pull down my shirt, I open the door, walking back inside. And what the fuck do I see? Meenah and Crabdad fucking chatting amicably. Like old friends. What the fuck?!

“Carpcatfish! What’s up? Me and Crabdad were just sitting here, discussing you!” The look on my face must have been hilarious, because she giggled behind her hand. GIGGLED! I stomped up to her, ready to lay one of my amazing verbal smack downs. She would have been so shocked and disgusted with me that this flushed shit would’ve finally ended and I could just be left alone in peace.

That was what I wanted to happen. What was supposed to happen. What actually happened was this:

“I-” And then her lips were pressed against my own. Again. She did it to me again. And again, I liked it. All my anger, all the shit I had to say, gone. She stopped, stepping back to give me room. I licked my lips, expecting to taste her. But, nothing. I guess, being in a dream, I can’t taste anything.

“Nubs McShouty, you’re mine!” She wrapped her arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to her. “You and me are gonna fight that green, steroid-using asshole, right?”

I don’t shove her off me, like I usually would have. I’m just standing here and I don’t know what comes over me. I pull her towards me, hugging her. “No, you fishy moron. We’re matesprits and you’re gonna fucking spend time with me.”

“No, Karcatfish, das human gay.” She shoves me away, laughing.

“Excuse me for having feelings.” I laugh. For the first time since I can remember, I kinda actually feel…ok.

“Yo, let’s go see if I can get any of the rest of my loser friends to join us.”

“Sure, why the fuck not?” After a quick strife with Crabdad, we head outside. I grab her hand, intertwining our fingers together. If I’m gonna meet more asshole ancestors, at least I’m gonna be with the one decent one.


	6. Tattoos on the Beach (Meenah/Aranea)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aranea really does care about Meenah

She walks towards you, the love of your life…afterlife. She keeps rubbing her arm, like she’s in pain. Being the awesome Samaritan you are, you decide to ask her what’s up.

“Yo, Aranea! What’s up with your arm?” You ask nicely, but Aranea looks skittish.

“Nothing’s wrong! I, uh, well…I hurt my arm! With, you know, too much reading! Oh boo hoo, this is what I get for being too knowledgeable!” You stare at her flatly. That was an awful excuse. But being the loving and caring matesprit you are, you don’t push the subject.

She walks up to you and gives you a quick peck on the lips. Blue on purple, what a wonderful combo you think to yourself. As she walks away, you give her a quick squeeze of the bum. She squeaks, you grin. She slaps your arm playfully, you try not to grope her again. It’s a pattern you go through daily since death, and one that you have very much enjoyed.

“Fine, Serket. Keep your secrets. But I’ll find out eventually,” Your eyes narrow “I always find shitscales out.”

Aranea simply giggled nervously, but once again, you let it slide. Instead, you sit down in the sand, patting the ground next to you. Aranea eagerly sits next to you, where she leans against you. You wrap your arm around her shoulders and put your head on hers. Her warmth was welcome against the brisk breeze of the sea.

“Meenah, what do you want to do?”

“I was content just chillaxin’ in my home enviorment, the sea!” You grin and Aranea chuckles. She rubs your arm, nuzzling closer to you.

“Anything…else?”

You stare at her as she stares back, a light blush on her face. A grin appears on your face and you take her mouth as your own. A quickie she wants, a quickie she gets. Your teeth rake lightly against her lips, drawing a bit of blood. As you kiss her, you taste her cerulean blood. It spikes your desire and you push into the sand. You hike up her dress, ripping off her panties, giving her bulge space to reveal itself.

“Hehe, there’s that little bastard” You say as you grasp it in your hand, the appendage slick with genetic material. Aranea gasped at the warmth of your hand, bucking her hips into your hand. Smirking, you release her and begin unzipping your pants. You pull them and your boy shorts down enough until your own bulge reveals itself.

You don’t wait to ask Aranea if she’s ready. Your bulge is out. Her bulge is out. It’s obvious what’s gonna happen next. A quick squeeze of her thigh is the only warning you’ll give her before your intricate and illustrious tentacle enters her. She gasps, because she’s never prepared for your awesome inside her, but once you stretch out a bit, that’s when she really stars making the fun noises. A loud moan and then you begin thrusting in and out of her.

You grin wolfishly, Aranea putty in your hands as you grab her roughly. No time to be gentle. She knows how it is. Your hands are on her thighs, keeping you stable. Her hands wrap around your wrists, keeping her stable. In and out, in and out. Quick and hard. You bite your lip as her hips buck, her appendage rubbing itself on your stomach each time you enter her.

It’s over soon enough. You both release, you first, then her. Purple and blue fluids mix together as they drip off your bodies. Exiting her, you flop down next to her, panting after a good time. She kisses your lips and you kiss back. You make yourselves decent (Aranea not so much seeing as you destroyed another pair of her panties). You offer her yours, but she doesn’t want to stew in your love juices, much less her own  
Instead, you throw your underwear into the ocean, washing yourselves off with the salty water. You figure that if she’s going commando, the fuckin’ heiress will too.

You hold hands as you walk along the horizon, watching the dream sunset. This is life now. Boring, but peaceful. Sometimes, you want a little action. Then, you remember that action is what got you here in the first place and you have all the ‘action’ you could want with Aranea. She sweet and innocent enough that you wont feel dirty when you’re both done, unlike with Porrim.

You’re kinda afraid of Porrim; Aranea has often had her eyes linger in her direction. It’s not so much you fear Porrim herself, as it is you fear the idea of Aranea leaving you for her. Aranea swears that’ll never happen, but you can’t help but wonder.

“Ahoy, you have a rip in your shirt…” You notice a rip on Aranea’s sleeve, revealing a bandage. “Are you hurt?” You ask worriedly and Aranea tries to calm you down, but you wont back down this time.

“Please, Meenah. It’s nothing!”

“Cut the shitscales, Aranea. Let me sea!” You rip off the sleeve and bandage, revealing a tattoo. “What is this?” Under the bandage was a tattoo of Meenah’s symbol, the Pisces emblem.

“I was trying to have it be a surprise…” She began, but you could barely hear her. All you could focus on was that thing on her arm and what it means…

“You care…” You sniff, tears actually falling from your face. “Beach, you do care!” Aranea goes to hug you, trying to shush-pap the tears away, but you don’t want them to go away. They’re proof of how happy you are. Aranea doesn’t understand. All you can do is hug her tight, sniffling. “You reely do care…” was all you could muster as she hugs you in return, patting your back to try and calm you. Fuck Porrim. Fuck everyone else. With this, Aranea proved it. She was yours and no one elses.


	7. Why do you like me? (Aranea/Meenah)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> poopy lesbifins fluff

“Oi, Aranea?”

“Yes, Meenah?”

“Why Rufioh?” You have to think a bit about that one. Why exactly Rufioh? He was attractive, with that soft, illustrious mohawk. You blush at the thought of the majestic hair-do. You are then pulled out of your thoughts by Meenah’s fingers pinching your cheeks. “Leave his admittedly awesome mohawk outta this. Personality wise, what is it?”

Once again, you begin to ponder. His personality, it wasn’t strong. He let himself be walked over. It made you want to command him, control him. You drool at the thought of bending him over and spanking him, just because.

“Aranea…” She waves her hands in front of your face. Huffing, she goes for the cheeks again.

“AUGH! Stop, stop!” You rub your face, inching away from the Pisces. “That hurt.” A pout and Meenah is putty, ‘aww’ing at your ‘adorbabu’ face. “No ‘aww’ing! You know I don’t like that.” You say with a slight blush.

“Shore, Serket. You know you love being treated like the cutie you are.” You huff and leave the booth you were manning, walking in a random direction. You hear Meenah follow you, her footsteps not particularly quiet. “Porrim.” Meenah says, and you stop.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” You mumble.

“I bet she was good in the sack, right?” You whip around, your face heating up.

“I DON’T WANNA TALK ABOUT HOW GOOD SHE WAS IN BED!” You shriek, but Meenah is unfazed. Her brow quirks

“How was she compared to me?” You look away, but answer her.

“You’re rough, she’s gentle. Two completely different styles, I can’t decide.”

“Ha! I’m totally better! It’s offishial!” You glare at Meenah, but she ignores you, too psyched about her ‘victory’ over Porrim.

“You never asked why I chose you.” You begin and she stops dancing. Scratching her head, she says

“I already know.” You walk towards her, putting your hands on her waist.

“Really now? Do tell…” She grins that shark grin of hers and closes the distance between your faces. After a few moments of enjoying the feel of each others lips, she breaks the kiss.

“Hot and fintastic in bed. Total package, I know.” She says and you glare at her. Shoving her away, you walk in the opposite direction.

“Is it cause you’re a gold digger? You only want me for my cash?” You keep walking. “Cod, I was kidding! Aranea…? Aranea!” She yells at you as you stalk off, in no mood for her bullcarp (oh great, a fish pun).


	8. Forgiveness (Eridan/Feferi)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EriFef stuff

Is she avoiding you? You have no idea, but you’ve been looking for her forever. Or, at least what feels like forever. You don’t exactly have the best sense of time now that you’re dead. Alive or not, your search continues.  
  
Wait… is that her you see? There, on the horizon. She sits in the sand, watching the water rise and fall. The breeze blows her long, luxurious hair and it’s almost as if you fall in love with her all over again with her just for that. She doesn’t have her goggles; you could only guess where they’ve gone. Her eyes are a pearly white, no pupils, just like yours. Her frown ruins her beautiful face. It doesn’t suit her. You want to cheer her up, make her laugh…but you can’t. Not after what you’ve done…  
  
The smart thing to do would be to leave her be; there’s no way your face could help her feel any better…apparently you’re not very smart. The next thing you know, your shoes are in the sand, leaving a trail of footprints from where you first found her. Your mind is blank; the only thing you hear is the sea breeze and your soft steps.  
  
She looks behind her and she must see you. But, she doesn’t react. She simply stares at you, face neutral. “Fef.” Your throat is dry, voice hoarse from lack of use.   
  
“Eridan,” She begins, but you won’t let her continue. Falling to your knees, you break down in front of her. “Fef, I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry!” You sob, clutching the sand in your hands. Your tears fall and blur your vision. You probably look pretty ugly right now, sobbing and dripping mucus in front of the love of your life, but right now, you don’t care. All you want is her forgiveness. “Eridan…” She kneels down, rubbing your back and embracing you and you let it all out. The guilt, the fear, the pain, everything.  
  
It takes a while, but you finally tire yourself out. You lay there, in her arms as she strokes your hair, making calming, shooshing noises at you. There’s a small smile on your face, and you don’t know why. Maybe she enjoys your suffering, maybe she’s glad you’re calming down, you don’t know. But right now, the smile on your face is probably the greatest thing you’ve ever seen.  
  
“Eridan…I missed you…” Feferi whispers to you and you can hardly believe her.   
  
“Fef, I’m so sorry.” You say and she shoosh paps you.  You snuggle into her hair and she giggles. “Fef, you gotta forgivve me. I didn’t mean to…”  
  
“It’s alright. Just, please, stay with me…” You both spend the day together in each others arms, and its the best time you’ve ever had.


	9. Serving him fish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meenah dolls herself up for Karkat

Ok, this is bullshit. You’ve tried to drop subtle hints. You’ve interacted with him more than Aranea. Hell, you actually accept him and don’t poke fun at his flaws. How can he not realize you’re interested in him?

“Ugh…” you sigh, your fingers drag themselves down your face. What else can you do to make him see? An idea suddenly pops into your head. You grin and began to chuckle darkly…Oh, fish puns, you never fail…

You knock on his door, standing awkwardly in the heels you borrowed from Porrim. You are dressed to kill. A sparkling, strapless tyrian and black dress that accentuates all your curves and black heels are what you have on you. You put on makeup and removed your piercings, trying to look your best. Now, all that matters is that he thinks so.

You knock on his door, trying to be polite and not burst in his hive for once. After some grumbling, you hear him walk to the door, which swings open.

“Wha…” he trails off as he gets a good look at you.

“Like whatchu see, Shouty?” You say with a smirk, posing seductively. He nods dumbly. “Here’s the deal. You’re gonna take me out and we’re gonna enjoy ourselves. I’m flushed for you, your stupid face and the rest of your scrawny body. So, are you coming?” He regains his composure, clearing his throat and offers his arm for you to hook with your own.

“Yeah, whatever.” He looks around, making sure no one can see you both. “This is a secret between you and me, alright? The others can’t find out their leader is fraternizing with an ancestor.”

“Our secret’s safe with me!” You grin.

Whatdya know? Serving him fish was a good idea after all.


	10. Love Me (Karkat/Feferi)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feferi finally musters the courage to talk to Karkat

You always sorta had a crush on him. It’s why you rejected Eridan’s advances. It’s why you hung out with Sollux; to get closer to him. Karkat Vantas was the troll destined to be yours and nothing would stop you.

You’ve always admired him. How he managed to whip the ragtag group of crazies, losers and krillers into shape. Get you all together to eventually (almost) win your session. The fact that he shouldered all that responsibility, lost sleep for you all. He was a better leader than you are.

At the same time, he was so…sad. So withprawn. Loud and angry, but it was very hard to get anything out of him. You just wanted to explore his brain, figure out his secrets.

“What is it, Feferi? Did you need something?” His voice brought you out of your head. He was just sitting there, watching the horizon quietly. His mopey nature made you wanna cuttle him forever!

“Hi Carpkat!” You squeak excitedly, resisting the urge to tackle him. He probably notices you shaking and backs away a bit, to your chagrin. “Whatcha doin’?”

He sighs, facing the sea again. “Thinking about shit. You can join, if you want.” As soon as he finishes the statement, you’re next to him, shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh. Your grin is from ear to ear, showing off your sharp, shark-like teeth. Karkat gives you a look and your grin shrinks a bit as he creates a bit of space between you both. Wrapping his arms across his legs, he stares at the sun setting.

You don’t care about that; you care about him. But, too much affection from you would probably weird him out, so you sit. Sit and wait for him to want it.

And you wait.

And wait.

Waiting.

“No more waiting!” You turn to Karkat, yelling at him. “You get the love now!”

“Fef-oof!” was all he managed to get out before you tackle him to the ground, hugging him tightly and rubbing your face against his chest.

“Feel all that love, Karcrab?” You say with a smile, breathing in his scent. Smells like the sea. Probably because he’s been here for a while.

“I feel you squeezing me.” He grumbles, but makes no attempt to escape, you note. You begin to let him go, your grip on him loosening. Before you completely remove yourself from him, He wraps his arms around you. You look at his face, curious. “I didn’t say it was bad…” He can’t look at you, blushing.

You grin and hug him back, even tighter than before.

“I’m flush for you, Crabkat.” You admit to him, snuggling into his chest.

You feel his chin bop you on your head. “Yeah, well, you’re not so bad either.” Eyes narrowed, you pinch him. “Augh! What the hell?”

“Say it right!” He sighs and kisses your forehead.

“I’m pretty red for you too, Peixes.”

“Yay!” You squeak. It’s finally happened. He’s yours. And you are his.


	11. Gone (Karkat/Gamzee)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gamzee's always watching over Karkat. Always.

“Best friend.”

“No.”

“Best friend.”

“Go away, asshole.”

“Best friend.” He curls tighter into the ball he’s in and you stare at him. Usually your ‘best friend’ line will get him to immediately rage at you. This time is different. He’s…just sitting there, head in his arms, curled up in a little ball. 

You walk up to the wall behind him and plop down, staring at the ceiling.

“Tell me what’s wrong, bro. Let this palerail solve yo’ muthafuckin’ issue.”

“Not in the mood, Makara.” He was serious. He didn’t even use your first name. Shit’s serious.

He groans and you frown. Suddenly, it’s like a light bulb lights up above your head. An idea!

HONK!

The noise scares him, making him jump up. He’s alert, looking around for the cause of the noise.

“Down here, best friend.” You wave to him and he stares at you, with you horn in hand and dopey smile on your face.

“Grrr…” He growls, and you notice his fist is clenched so tightly, his cherry red blood leaks from the puncture wounds his claws cause.

“Palebro?” Your voice doesn’t betray your worry. 

“Grraaah!” He tackles you, straddling you and his fists connect with your face, punching you.

“Terezi left me!” Punch.

“Jade’s not here!” Punch.

“Sollux is gone!” Punch.

“And Meenah…” Punch.

“WHY CAN’T I HAVE SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T LEAVE ME?!” 

Another fist flies to your bloodied face, but you catch it. 

“I’m not gonna leave you, best friend. You’re motherfuckin’ stuck with me.”

“You’re wrong!” He sobs, gripping your bullet-hole ridden chest. He stares into your blank eyes, your face drenched in blood you spilled thanks to him. You smile, even now. Your arms wrap around him, pushing his head softly down to your chest. His tears mix in with your blood as it drips onto the floor.

“Never, Karkat. You’re stuck with me.”

—-

Your eyes snap open. You can’t remember much of the dream, except for that last line. It plays like a recording in your head. Tears fall from your face and they won’t stop.

“In the end, everyone fucking leaves.”


End file.
